Why don’t we respect ourselves?

Why don’t we respect ourselves?

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This is a question that bothered me greatly in an advanced class that I’m taking. I was    elected to come up with the answers to this question and create an exercise to help the class to more fully respect their self.

As children we weren’t seen as worthy and were discounted by adults in our life. We mirrored, believed and acted as authority figures of our past.  We created a belief that we aren’t of worth because of traumas and dramas of childhood. We don’t trust ourselves and we loop negative tracks of our faults in our head.

We tend to hold on to what “isn’t working” in our consciousness and put all the marvelous supportive “all good” in the background. We listen to and fear judgements of others, therefore we harshly judge our self. We are not in a state of self love, compassion or kindness holding our hearts closed off to the world, but most of all to our self.


1. Find a space that you won’t be disturbed by the phone, pets, etc.  Get in a comfortable position, close your eyes and set your intention on relaxing your body.

2. Inhale to the count of 8, hold to the count of 8, exhale to the count of 8, and hold to the count of 8. Repeat this breath process 5 times. Then relax your breath.

3. Now, think about something that’s a passion, or a pet or someone who you love deeply and generate that love to the fullest extent.

4. Feel it, know it, see it, be it, experience it.

5. Imagine that love swirling vibrant green through your heart… now your body… and see that love swirling vibrant green encapsulating your body. This love swirling vibrant green extends six feet beyond your body protecting you.

6. Now that you’ve connected to that love allow your mind to travel back to when you were between 2 and 7 years old and think of someone who was harsh or punished you because they were disturbed by you or your actions. Perhaps this person shamed you or said hurtful things to you, faulted you, maybe they even struck you…

7. Imagine your adult self with that younger child self between 2 and 7. Let that sweet, sweet child know that they are safe and can speak their truth, that you are with them and protecting them… ask that child what they’re feeling…Where in their body do they choose to hold this feeling or feelings, this heaviness?…Ask that child of yours what he or she is saying to their self about their worth…Is this their perception or someone elses…? Is it true and if not what is the truth… Listen to the wisdom of that child… What is the truth about respect…? Is your inner child honoring and respecting their self or taking on the energy of this other person. Whose responsibility is it to respect you…?

8. Now imagine looking into the eyes of that beautiful sweet child of yours and tell your younger self that he or she is perfect no matter what they have done or didn’t do, that their life is a learning experience and you have great trust and respect for them, honoring and respecting them unconditionally.

 9. Tell that sweet child of yours that they are loveable and perfect at “all times” no matter what.

10. Relate to your younger self that the actions and disturbance the other person feels is about them, it is about the adult not respecting his or her self and has nothing to do with that little child of yours. You understand what is yours and what isn’t… your child is wise beyond recognition…

11. Ask your younger self to forgive his or her self for believing that they are wrong, and not worth of respecting his or her self.

12. Help your child self to remove this stored heavy energy, take it from them or out of them. Ask them to help neutralize this energy, bury it, throw it in water, burn it with a violet flame, do what ever your child’s intuition tells you, and in doing so the child becomes light, radiant and self respected allowing both of you to navigate your life in a healthy respectful, serving way from this moment forward.

13. Now connect with that love for someone or something that you generated a few moments ago, imagine it once again, vibrant green swirling within…look at that sweet beautiful child and send that love to your child, that little perfect child…envelope that perfect little child with the swirling vibrant green. Imagine your adult self fully accepting your child. Cradling, respecting and loving that inner child of yours…so beautiful, so perfect…

14. Tell your child to apply this deep love to all the places that hurt… all the way to the present moment, to the present you…

15. After you have immersed your precious child and your present self with this deep love and respect that swirls through your whole being completely…. Feeling completely content, loved and deep respect for you… Know you can continue to do release work with your inner child anytime you choose…

Take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes…


*Note: The young man in the picture has a great sense of humor and belted himself in the seat. He was not told,  forced or coerced in anyway.


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